


Batarang'd

by ngm



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Arkham (Video Games)
Genre: Ficlet, M/M, One Shot, Post Arkham Origins, Self-Pleasure, Wound Penetration, batarang penetration, tinglings of obsession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 10:03:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11011185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ngm/pseuds/ngm
Summary: Short, nasty and sweet. The Joker, young and fresh out of Arkham for the second time (in the Arkham Origins-verse) gets caught in the shoulder with a Batarang and likes it way too much. This was written for Batjokes Week in like, what 2014? Shit. An age ago! Enjoy!!





	Batarang'd

The sound of his spatted-flats clacking down Crime Alley and the heaving of his breath was all the noise the Joker allowed as he fled from his nemesis; even his laughter had died out as he booked it. For all of his lank and limbs, he could pull it together enough to run like the dickens; even on these rain-slicked cobblestones, even in these shoes, even with a Batarang sticking out of his shoulder. 

Tonight was the first night he had surfaced since his second successful break from Arkham Asylum... There had been some low-level thefts, a few assaults, one hit and run that he was particularly proud of (the blood-spatter arc had just been a work of art) and the rest of was just time spent hoarding goods and ammo for his next charade. Anything to get the attention of his Bat... and hell, he'd gotten the Bat's attention from day one, that he knew. His first successful departure from Arkham had only left him on the streets for a few hours-- Harleen, that little minx, she was a good girl to have on the inside but it was only a matter of time before she could no longer keep up the facade of having her marbles.

His second successful attempt had gone off with a little less panache than he'd prefer but oh, there had been such mayhem that he'd literally been able to waltz, (and he did!) out of the building and disappeared between the entrance of Arkham Island and the connector back to the city.

He had been calculating his next move, his next 'come, get me' for his Batman... It wouldn't be too hard; the Batman was likely sitting on the edge of his seat, knuckles white as he attempted to anticipate where the clown would strike next... The Joker smiled, shuddering with excitement as he let his fingers graze over the blade-edge of what was exposed of this Batarang... He would add this to his collection, this was number one... the first one to actually make substantial contact. 

This one was embedded into his shoulder, pinning his coat, vest and shirt to his torso... it burned a hole through him, the skin around the piece of carved carbon numb as nerve endings were shredded... When asked about the scar in the future he'd joke that he 'thought that's how you were supposed to catch a Batarang' but for right now... 

Right now, he tucked himself into the shadows, behind the corner of a soon-to-be-abandoned business, trying to stifle his breathing, the need to giggle with excitement... Oh, the *chase*... the chase always riled him up... and the sound of Batman firing off his grapnel gun and whistling through the air wasn't far off.... But for the moment, he was safe and smiled as he twang'd the Batarang in his body, shuddering at the feel of it wiggling in his core. 

'Nice one, Bats...' The Psychopath thought, a smirk touching his lips as he leaned back heavily into his brick cranny, shoulders taking the brunt of his weight as he glanced sidelong at the piece of metal jutting from him. 

How did it make his Batman feel... to artificially penetrate him with his little love-daggers? Did it excite the Bat as much as it excited him? The thrill of the chase... Ahh...

"Hnn..." The Joker swallowed a noise in his throat as he pushed and prodded at the Batarang again, the pulse of pain blending with the line of pleasure, making his loins tense suddenly. "Mmmh..." Another sound as he wriggled the bat-shaped dagger, which let's be real, was what it was. An 'arang' sort of eluded that the metal would come back to it's thrower... but well, not unless Batman had trackers on these things... The thought caused the Joker to look up, squint his eyes as he checked to see if there was any movement above him... no need to have this little moment to recuperate interrupted...

Glancing to his right, back out into the street, the clown could see the spray-painted outline of the whacked-Waynes... There was just NO way in hell that icing both mama and papa Wayne wasn't some kind of twisted inside job... Maybe their boy did it... The madman let his mind wander as he tugged at the Batarang, seeing what kind of yield it had... the removal wasn't going to be easy, oh, but the scar, that would be something else. The Joker lifted the hand of the arm attached to the shoulder with the piece of Batman embedded in it and he flexed his fingers, making sure everything was firing off as it should... and satisfied, he let his eyes settle shut as he caressed the end of the metal with his other fingers, letting the sharp bladed end lick at his gloved fingertips. The hand attached to the batarang'd arm slid down and he rested his palm on his own abdomen, almost flirtatious with himself.

' _Nono... we shouldn't, not * **here** *... not * **now** *_' The Joker's inner-voice purred to his hand, mock-tsking as his own disobedient digits finger-walked down his own abdomen and settled against the heat present between his thighs. 

Another click-hiss of Batman's grapnel gun firing nearby caused the Joker to squeeze himself suddenly, cock filling out what little space it was allowed in his slacks rather quickly, almost too quickly. The clown mentally chuckled at himself, at his greed, at how pitiful he was for wanting the Bat so badly and he grabbed at the Batarang in his shoulder with his other hand and jarred the piece of metal further into his flesh, having to stifle his groan of pain/pleasure by biting down on his lower lip. 

He exhaled through his nose, eyes slitting open as he looked back up at the sky, gazing up at the shadows between the buildings through green eyelashes and slumped a little, legs spreading as he pressed his shoulders harder back into the wall, pushed his hips up into his palm, pressed the Batarang a little deeper. 

"Hnnnhgh..." The Joker's head rolled back and he squeezed his eyes shut, haphazardly massaging himself through his slacks, focusing more on the Batarang, on sliding the metal as far in and out as the muscles and sinew it was trapped between would allow. He was fucking himself with his little pet effigy to the Bat, digging the other man a little deeper into his body; swallowing thickly as he got into a bit of a nasty rhythm of grinding into his hand while stimulating what was left of the nerves in his shoulder with the bat-blade. 

Another pop-hiss of the grapnel gun went unnoticed as the Joker continued to rub himself, pressing the Batarang deeper into his shoulder and gasping softly; he was here! 

One would have expected the Joker's cock to wilt, if they weren't reading this bit of fiction, but on the contrary, he stayed solid, strong, biting harder at his lower lip and attempting more to hide the Batarang behind his hand as he narrowed his eyes and followed the sound of Batman's leather-y cape, flopping and unfolding behind him as he touched to the ground near the outline of the Waynes... and then much to the Joker's actual surprise, dropped to one knee, touching what of the outline the clown could make out... Hmm, that was a little interesting, wasn't it...

He exhaled through his nose, slowly, taking a side-step further into the alley, one hand over his groin, the other crossed over his chest, grasping at the Batarang... and then he really froze as the Batman whipped around, those goddamn eyes staring right through him, pinning him in place.

Both of them had been caught, but the Bat didn't know how long the Joker had been watching him from there... and the Joker didn't exactly know how he was going to flee from this particular situation... but found he couldn't quite move; that gaze did things to him and he wasn't exactly in the right state to take off running... Too bad he didn't have a utility belt full of toys like the Batfreak did...

Seconds that seemed to drag on for too long had the Bat gracefully moving from the center of the street to the alley that the Joker was occupying, putting the big black-clad body before the thin, lanky body and any means of escape. There were no words, the Bat's gaze flicking over that face, absorbing the posture, the position of his hands, the *smell* he was giving off and for a half-of-a-moment, the bigger man's nose wrinkled... This fucking guy... 

The Joker smiled, a big, huge, 'ah-what-the-hell-ya-caught-me' sort of smile, shrugging as he lifted his hands in a mock gesture of innocence; his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed thickly. If the Bat dared to glance down, he'd see the curve of the still amply-excited cock making an obvious outline in those slacks, almost desperate to reach out to the Batman; but the vigilante wouldn't make it that obvious that he had noticed or whether or not he was disturbed by it (he was, a bit, in all honesty-- he was still very confused by the Joker for reasons he would be happy suppressing for the rest of his life).

Batman squared his jaw, inhaling sharply through his nose. Suddenly, one gloved hand was on the Joker's throat, cutting off his air supply and very effectively pinning the smaller man to the wall. He was rewarded with those green eyes widening in surprise, pupils narrowing in shock. Still, there were no words, only exhalations of breath as the Bat pushed forward, one massive thigh just almost pressing against the Joker's, just barely able to feel the heat from there madman's dick through his uniform's layers. The Bat reached up with his other hand, grasping the end of his Batarang, eyes narrowing as he stared at the Joker, as he watched the irises of his nemesis' eyes darken, the pupils dilate; an almost pathetically shameless moan leaving those crimson lips as he adjusted his grip on his weapon of choice and pulled it straight from the Joker's shoulder. He stepped back just as the clown shuddered, slumping to the ground in a pile and smirked, dropping the piece of metal at the quivering pile of surely-spent villain. 

It clacked against the ground and the Joker took a few deep breaths, shifting to lift himself up onto his hands, panting as sucked in the cool, damp air of the alley. Goddamn. The Goddamn Batman... He looked over at the Batarang, coated in more than his share of blood and flinched as he heard the pop-hiss of the grapnel gun firing off, taking his Dark Knight away from him... for now. 

The Joker was only given a few moments to 'right' himself; too pleased in his afterglow, toying and tracing the piece of metal with such fervent attention that he failed to notice his Knight was waiting for him to saunter out of the filthy little alley just so he could be sent off to Arkham, again. 

Well, at least this time, it was worth it. 


End file.
